Taking this amirat hazal literally would require us to know what is truly allowed, and then, taking upon myself, each person upon his or herself, something to make them a bit "more than the minimum".
And, as a parent, this means that my responsibility is not to teach my humrot as if they are ikar hahalcha. I should teach my children that there are different piskei halacha, some are more meikel and some are more mahmir.
A parent should give across the message:
We, as a family, follow ... And I, your parent, have also taken upon myself to do more than the minimum in .... You, my dearest child, will of course be doing retzon Hashem even if you do the minimum. But I hope that your love for Hashem and desire to get closer to Him will help you choose areas in which you do more than the minimum.
A parent should give across the message:
We, as a family, follow ... And I, your parent, have also taken upon myself to do more than the minimum in .... You, my dearest child, will of course be doing retzon Hashem even if you do the minimum. But I hope that your love for Hashem and desire to get closer to Him will help you choose areas in which you do more than the minimum.
In an age and place where people are so afraid of their children going off the derech, this approach feels very honest to me.
I'd like to hear how this feels to others.
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